Jackson Best's Recent Blogs

My blogs are private just to my fan club members! I can write dirty fantasies or keep you updated about my life with my blogs.

let it go Date: Aug 10th @ 11:23am EDT
When you let go of these ideas of how things should be, how other people should behave to make you happy, how you can do everything at once ... then the problems go away. They simply don't exist.There are other problems, of course -- you still need to do the work. But the frustrations, stress, anger, irritation, feelings of overwhelm ... those are all caused by holding on, and they're in our minds. We also hold on to things that happened earlier -- something someone did that wasn't nice, a meeting where we said something embarrassing, a mistake we made on our project -- and of course this only compounds the pain, keeps the pain replaying on an endless loop.Letting go allows the problems to disappear.It's that simple, and yet letting go isn't always easy.It's a learning process. First you have to learn mindfulness, which is the key to the whole shebang. Mindfulness allows us to see these thought processes that are causing us pain, allows us to delve into what we're holding on to.Mindfulness also helps us return to the moment, so that all those things running around in our heads can fade away, and we live in what's actually happening, right now.We do a task without holding on to other tasks, or offenses made by other people. We do a task, and then let go of it, and move on to the next task.
ressistance4321 Date: Aug 9th @ 11:12am EDT
For me, that means opening up a blank text file and writing the title of whatever I'm writing. Then I start brainstorming and outlining ideas. This gets me over the initial Resistance. And once I've started on that, I can usually get into the flow. But the important thing is to get started.Combat this by realizing that you are facing Resistance. Once you become aware of it, you can fight it, and beat it. It can be difficult to become more aware, but the key is to focus on it for a couple of days. Print out the words "Defeat Resistance" and put it somewhere visible as you work. That will help remind you to be aware of Resistance. Every time you do something that isn't the most important thing you could be doing right now, be aware of what you're doing.The War of Art is all about Resistance, not only for writers and other artists, but for anyone trying to pursue their dreams or become what they're meant to be. I highly recommend it. This, of course, is also a topic that is central to Zen Habits: overcoming Resistance to create new and better habits, to find happiness and simplicity, to do what you need to do and love to do.I fight Resistance every single day, and I thought you might be interested in some of the ways I fight and beat Resistance, daily.
ressistance432 Date: Aug 8th @ 6:31pm EDT
Make your first important task a daily appointment. For me, that's writing. I always start the day with a writing task (such as writing this post, for example). For you, that might be different. Have a set start time, and possibly a set ending time -- you'll have to see what works for you, but the important thing is the set starting time. And when that time comes, you have to start. No exceptions.Why are you doing this? Why is this task important? What is it working towards? And how important is that end goal to you? Why is it important? You need to know these things to build up the motivation to overcome Resistance.In the end, all the tips in the world won't make as much a difference as this simple (and timeless) instruction. Just sit down and start. Feel Resistance to doing that? There's no way to overcome it than to just start. Reading more about Resistance won't help. Going to an online Procrastinator's Forum won't help. Working on your to-do lists won't help. Only doing actually helps. And the only way to do something is to just start.So how do you start, when you feel resistance? You just start. Feeling the need to do something else? Stop yourself from getting distracted. Remind yourself what you need to be doing, and why. Sit down and the set time and place. And just start.
resistance124 Date: Aug 5th @ 4:45pm EDT
Just get started. Usually all I need to do is get the ball rolling. I tell myself, "Just write one sentence." Usually that's something that's so easy I can't say no to it. So I do that, and things often flow a lot easier.Remove options.Cut off escape routes. Where do you like to run to? If it's email,put up a site blocker so you can't check email.Disconnect your router.Go somewhere that doesn't have Internet.or use a full-screen distraction-free writing app.Only allow yourself to use one tab in the browser you can't open more than one. Have someone monitor you or hold you accountable.Don't let yourself run.Let yourself run. This is in direct contradiction to the previous tip,but as I said,not everything works all the time.Often I'll open up a new document to start writing,and then immediately want to go do something else and I go do it.I'm not perfect.I let myself run to distraction,but I'm conscious of what I'm doing.And I know that I shouldn't do this for very long,so I only let myself do it for a few minutes.It's like giving yourself a bite or two of cake but not letting yourself gorge on the cake.It's OK to take a bite if you put the fork down right after.Sometimes the fearful mind just needs a bit of a break from the scariness,but don't let it hide forever.
resistancecch55 Date: Aug 4th @ 6:54pm EDT
When you're faced with the Resistance, what will keep you from running to distraction?There's no easy answer.Like many of you,I've tried just about everything. Nothing works every time, because the best plans crumble when you're hit in the face by Resistance.I'll share what helps me.Sit there, and look inside yourself.Just because an urge arises to run doesn't mean you have to follow it.I will feel the urge,and then sit back, and try not to take any action.I'll look inside and feel the urge. Then I'll try to see what I'm afraid of.When I shine a light on it,it's not so bad.Think about who you're helping.While Resistance is scary,it's often not nearly as bad as the pain that someone else is facing.If you're creating something that will positively affect someone's life,then that's more important than the amount of fear you're facing.So think of that person,and put their pain above yours.Think about the gift of time.Time seems like such an endless commodity,because we never see a gauge that's showing how much we have left.But it's like reaching into a huge vat of cookies and pretending it will never run out.One day,you'll feel around inside that vat and the cookies will be gone.Cookies,in this clumsy metaphor,are days in your life.Once you appreciate the limitedness of these cookies,you realize that you have to savor them,and not waste them.Each one is precious!So make the most of it: do you want to create something new,or spend your remaining time doing email and social media?
ch222341 Date: Aug 3rd @ 11:04am EDT
Charm is the art of having an attractive personality. Some people charm others the moment they enter a room, while others earn a reputation as a charmer over a period of time. While everyone is born with differing amounts of natural charm, much can be acquired and honed through practice. Read on to learn how to use your attitude and body language to be charming. Assume rapport. This simply means talking to a stranger or a newly met acquaintance in a very friendly manner, as if the person is a long lost friend or relative. This helps break down an initial awkwardness and speeds up the warm-up process when meeting new people. Soon, people feel more welcomed and comfortable around you. Nobody expects you to be an expert. Sometimes you can build rapport just by asking questions, and not caring if you seem naive. There are people who like talking about and explaining their interests, and will like you for listening. It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around.Talk about topics that interest the people you're with. If you're in a sporty crowd, talk about last night's game or the meteoric rise of a new team. If you're with a group of hobbyists, ask about their hobbies and make pertinent remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, and so on.
ch22234q Date: Jul 28th @ 9:21pm EDT
The possibility of having negative encounters will be higher after you come out,but be strong, and remember that you do not need to be accepted by anyone but yourself!Keep a close eye on your relationships with friends,family and acquaintances,and note any changes in their behaviour toward you.If you sense discomfort or awkwardness, give them time. If it doesn't pass,address it with them as soon as you're able to.Coming out to the whole community is sometimes not ideal. Make sure that you are safe,and not breaking the law in being in a homosexual relationship.If you are suffering from harassment at school or the workplace,don't be afraid to ask for help from authority figures.on't apologise or allow yourself to feel ashamed of it to anyone when you tell them the truth about yourself.Learn to not care what people say or do;allowing anyone to take a position that has you apologising or feeling bad about your sexuality will only reinforce any negative preconceptions they have.Instead,be positive and firm in that happy outlook so that anyone who seems disappointed or sad about it will know that you are fine and happy.This is really important to show to those who love you we all have a hard time imagining that anyone could be happy doing things that we ourselves might not be interested in doing;just as people who are happy rock climbing have a hard time understanding people who are happy sleeping in a hammock on their days off,straight people have a hard time understanding how a gay person can be happy.All you need to do is to assure them that you are.
ch22234 Date: Jul 24th @ 12:29am EDT
Keep a close eye on your relationships with friends, family and acquaintances, and note any changes in their behaviour toward you. If you sense discomfort or awkwardness, give them time. If it doesn't pass, address it with them as soon as you're able to.Coming out to the whole community is sometimes not ideal. Make sure that you are safe, and not breaking the law in being in a homosexual relationship.Depending on your environment, you may come across extremes of rejection; it is important that you are prepared for potentially difficult times. Make sure that you are safe and ready before you take the leap. The whole community does not need to know unless you are comfortable in being totally out, and are safe and independent enough to do so. Unfortunately, you may be in a situation where you are dependent on someone or something that might potentially change if you come out; in a situation like this, you may need to change what it is you are dependent on before you come out. This may mean waiting until you have a home of your own, or in an area of safety where you do not run the risk of being outlawed or disowned.If you don't want to make a big deal out of it, try to interject it into the conversation. The less of an issue it is to you, the more relaxed people will be when you tell them- there won't be that big overreaction you fear if you are calm when you reveal your orientation.
crh233 Date: Jul 23rd @ 11:37pm EDT
Be prepared for questions they might ask.They might be afraid of how people will treat you, or that you'll never be able to have these are all very real concerns to them, so treat them seriously. If they are religious,you may want to find some material ahead of time to share with them that expresses a positive view.It may help to refer them to a religious leader that reflects a positive and healthy view of lesbian and gay relationships.Prepare a response to people hitting on you.If someone is flirting with you,you need to answer as you feel appropriate.In an environment where you may not want to divulge your sexual orientation you might say:"Thank you but I'm involved with someone"Try to make friends with new people gay,straight,or bisexual;sometimes they can be very understanding and help you to get through this if it becomes a rough patch in your life. Use the Internet to network and meet other gay people for support. Don't take it personally if people ask you questions about your sexuality see it as your opportunity to be a good liaison for the LGBT community.conservative place,you may want to seek out other members of the LGBT community first to learn about their experienc
ch2223 Date: Jul 16th @ 6:50pm EDT
If you don't want to make a big deal out of it, try to interject it into the conversation. The less of an issue it is to you, the more relaxed people will be when you tell them- there won't be that big overreaction you fear if you are calm when you reveal your orientation.Depending on your environment, you may come across extremes of rejection;it is important that you are prepared for potentially difficult times.Make sure that you are safe and ready before you take the leap.The whole community does not need to know unless you are comfortable in being totally out,and are safe and independent enough to do so.Unfortunately,you may be in a situation where you are dependent on someone or something that might potentially change if you come out;in a situation like this,you may need to change what it is you are dependent on before you come out.This may mean waiting until you have a home of your own, or in an area of safety where you do not run the risk of being outlawed or disowned.Hold your head up high and don't let anyone make you feel ashamed.Don't apologise or allow yourself to feel ashamed of it to anyone when you tell them the truth about yourself.Learn to not care what people say or do;allowing anyone to take a position that has you apologising or feeling bad about your sexuality will only reinforce any negative preconceptions they have
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