Jackson Best's Recent Blogs

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ch222 Date: Jul 15th @ 6:24pm EDT
Remember that you yourself took time to get used to your sexuality,so others may need time to get used to the idea too.Be moderate it is okay to find pride within yourself, but don't push your views or beliefs on others.Some people may struggle to accept it,but make sure they respect you.If someone shows any disrespect,sometimes it is best to just ignore it.Show some pride symbols if you can the six-coloured rainbow and the upside down lavender triangle. Perhaps try wearing a rainbow necklace or bracelet or a sweatband.Keep your safety in mind when choosing when and how to come out.If you live in a very conservative place, you may want to seek out other members of the LGBT community first to learn about their experiences.Don't bother to retaliate to people who say things like "you will go to hell".It is best to reply with something like:"I appreciate your concern, but I feel comfortable with who I am and I'm sorry that you feel that way",and to walk away from that person.It's not worth the stress.Keep a close eye on your relationships with friends,family and acquaintances, and note any changes in their behaviour toward you.If you sense discomfort or awkwardness, give them time.If it doesn't pass,address it with them as soon as you're able to.
234432 Date: Jul 8th @ 2:31pm EDT
Choose the first person you come out to wisely.A close friend or relative that you trust is a brilliant start,one who you feel is likely to support you.Discuss your sexuality with the people closest to you before making it commonly known.It is very important that you do not ambush them!They may feel confused or even angry if you do.Instead,tell them that you have something important to share with them, and that you have been thinking it over for a long time.Explain that you have realised you are different from others,but until recently,didn't really connect the dots as to why.By saying this,they will understand that you didn't keep it from them;you were simply trying to figure it out before saying anything to anyone.Understand that it is not necessary to tell everyone at one time;everyone reacts differently, so tell each person separately at an appropriate time,when you have privacy and sufficient time to discuss it.As before,if you are in a situation where you believe you could be disowned or even outlawed, wait until you are safe and independent before you decide to come out.If you are comfortable with your casual acquaintances knowing,then the sooner the better.When people know who you are from the start,they are more willing to simply accept you as you are.It becomes harder to tell people after you've known them for a while,because they have formed an idea of who you are in their own heads without knowing properly.
Repeat as necessary Date: Jul 6th @ 12:02am EDT
Repeat as necessary.There are some relatives who may willfully choose to ignore what you have told them,and continue to make remarks about you "Finding the right person,"or having"a nice friend whose son/daughter would be perfect for you,"or"someday you'll get married and put all this nonsense behind you."Accept their opinions about it, but keep your stand and don't consider changing your mind.Be as firm as possible without screaming or yelling.Remember to be direct.Hold your head up and just be yourself.Don't apologize for being gay it's just a part of who you are,and you know it.It's easiest for others to know it if you simply expect them to come to the party that way.Let them know that you are happy. When family members are upset by finding out that a loved one is gay,it's often because they imagine that you will live an unhappy,unfulfilled life that is second best.Assure them that life is good,and your relationship makes you very happy(if you are in one).Don't be shy about coming out-if you hang back or avoid eye contact it will appear that you are ashamed-and that will definitely be a deciding factor as to whether you are accepted and blessed by your family and friends.Be proud and don't be afraid of letting people know.
Keep it simple. Date: Jul 5th @ 11:01pm EDT
Keep it simple. If you decide to make one announcement to the whole family,try to keep from being too dramatic or making too huge a deal of it.Think of it as getting your family to deal with it the same way as they would deal with finding out that you wanted to change your major in college.Speak clearly, don't joke or laugh.Whether you're telling the family as a group,or just one or two people at a time,the more confident and easy you are when you make your announcement,the easier your family will handle it.If you treat it like you are ashamed,they will be more likely to be ashamed.Allow time for them to process and assimilate your news.Some family members may accept your announcement with a shrug and smile,others may cry and ask if it's their fault.Whatever the reaction, remain calm and know that these things take time.If you remain calm and confident,it will help them handle your announcement. If someone tells you they are shocked,angry,disappointed in you, devastated,etc.,tell them,"I wish you didn't feel that way, and I hope you'll wish the best for me,even if you don't agree with the way I need to live.I love you and I understand you may have some concerns or questions, and I'll be glad to talk with you about it any time."
e323423 Date: Jul 2nd @ 5:24pm EDT
Are you gay?Do you want to know how to come out to your family?There's no right or wrong way to do it,but there are some ways to keep things as direct and painless as possible.Coming out is a significant experience in many gay peoples' lives, and it can be intense,either in a positive or negative way.Choose the best time for you and your family.You will be the best judge of when the best time to tell each person is. You may want to tell everyone at a family gathering,or you may wish to take each family member, one at a time your own personality, style,and family dynamic will determine the best way for you to share your news with the family.Look for an ally in your family.If you think one of your relatives might be more accepting and tolerant of your gay identity,tell that person first.Ask them if you could meet when they can spare some time to talk about something important to you.When you meet, be direct don't beat around the bush.Say it simply and without apology,and wait for their questions.If this person is accepting,get them to help you come out to your whole family.Keep it simple.If you decide to make one announcement to the whole family,try to keep from being too dramatic or making too huge a deal of it.Think of it as getting your family to deal with it the same way as they would deal with finding out that you wanted to change your major in college.
handling Date: Jun 25th @ 10:32pm EDT
good litener2r Date: Jun 19th @ 10:07pm EDT
Another way to have encouraging body language is to turn your body toward the speaker. If you're turned away from the speaker, then it may look like you're itching to leave. If you cross your legs, for example, cross your leg toward the speaker instead of away.Don't cross your arms over your chest, either. This will make you appear standoffish or skeptical even if you don't actually feel that way.Listen actively to express your interest. Active listening involves the entire body and face -- both yours and that of the speaker. You can be quiet while still making it clear that you are hanging on to every word that the speaker is telling you. Here's how you can make the most of the situation by being an active listener:Your words: Though you don't have to say, "Mmhmm," "I see," or "Right," every five seconds or it will begin to get annoying, you can throw in an encouraging phrase here and there to show that you're paying attention.If that person whom you are talking to really means something to you,then you will surely pay attention and help them sort out their problem if there is any.Your expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of the speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.
good listener2 Date: Jun 18th @ 12:23am EDT
good listener Date: Jun 17th @ 10:23pm EDT
listener3221 Date: Jun 12th @ 10:33pm EDT
Wording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something.In the response process,the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more logical and constructive response.Wait for the person to open up.In the process of encouraging a constructive response,an active listener must be ever-so-patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts,feelings and ideas.These may,at first,start as a trickle and the full flow may take a long time to develop.If you press too early and ask too many personal,probing questions,that may actually have the opposite of the intended effect and may make the person feel defensive and reluctant to share any information.Keep your patience and keep your place in the "teller's" shoes.It sometimes helps to imagine why the"teller" has worked into such a situation.Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the "telling".Instead,wait for the other person to ask your opinion before breaking the flow of their discourse.Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily and patiently await appropriate breaks in conversation.When the conversation breaks,provide a summary or an empathetic concurrence.If you interrupt the person too soon
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